20 seconds in my head.

Wanna know how I think? Here is my literal thought process:

I hate seeing people that were originally a horrible couple... then they get married, and you think, "Wowzas! I give then 2 months." And then YOU get a divorce... 2 times! Karma's a bitch, I tell ya. I don't know why, but I tend to see that all the time... Happy cookie cutter households. I think that should be a national holiday. Like, "Here you go! You fit the square mold perfectly!" Pity party for me? Pssssh. YES. And why do they call that a 'pity party'? Maybe it's because it originally started out in the "pit" so to say... Like the arm pit? Personally, I think there are many more pits that I'd avoid. (Not THE Pitt, though. I'd do him on a rainbow) Now, don't get me wrong an arm pit is a terrible place to hang out. But who would hang out there anyways, right? Ok, so I got the "happy couple" crap off my chest. Because apparently there is a lot of stuff that is just sitting there. Like food and flash. Flash as in pins of a job well done. That is a lie. I wouldn't wear those ugly things. EVER. I wonder if I have a text message. I get them at the most random times of the night. It's cool though. Unless I'm working, I don't hear them. Yeah, I'm such a heavy sleeper that you could literally dunk my face into water, and I'd probably just adapt. I guess I'd become a fish? I wonder what that would be like anyways? Do you think fish feel like they fly? Like birds. Birds don't have roads to follow. Kind of like fish. They just fly. And fish just swim. So would that mean that a shark is like an airplane? And would flying fish be ducks? OH! Since I'm on the topic of retarded animals... My cat. I hate him. Really. He is so freaking stupid. I don't understand them cats all. There I was. Just standing in my door way, with one complete arm and hand hanging out of it. (It might or might not have had a cigarette in at the other end) And here meanders my idiot cat. STARING at freedom on the other side of the door. Now, I've never injured my cat, but that freaking thing is scared to death of me! Ughhh! I'm whispering in the typical cat calling voice... and open the door so this retard can run out to freedom. And once I open the door, he runs away. NOT outside away... but literally turns and runs. Doesn't make me wonder why they are freaking domesticated. And is that what we do? When the door opens up, do we turn around and retreat? Holy shit. Seriously, that was profound. I guarantee that will be the one and ONLY profound thing I say for about 5-7 days. It's fascinating to me how much I can talk, and literally... NOTHING is important. I could have 99.89% of my voice box taken out, and the only thing that would change is the silence. Yeah, there'd be a lot more of that. And only when it's silent, does noise become noise. So, we have to appreciate the silence. I think I need a moment of silence for my lost voice box.









I hope you didn't read that space fast. Because it literally should've taken you at least 840 seconds. Yes. That entire spot just had room for 840 letters. I swear to God. I just sat here and counted every last one of them. Sometimes people wonder what I do up so late at night, and that is it. I count space. Truly rewarding. Just hope you never loose count, because it's horrible to start over. So, you ask... why am I awake? (Or maybe you didn't, but I just made you think that question in your head) To waste time. I think I feel guilty about sleeping. Other wise I'd sleep non-stop. Like my friend Whitney used to do. (Sorry Whit. I should've changed your name to protect you, but now I used it twice.) So, here is the truth. I can't sleep because I feel I need to do something else. Like Facebook. Or Blogspot. Or listen to music. Like, the stupid stuff is going to leave me one day. Well, maybe it will in the year 2012. Which brings me to another thought. WHY would anyone believe that the world was just going to END in 2012? That's like saying "I've finished the internet". (MATT) It's stupid. You don't finish the internet, or finish space. It's infinite. We aren't just going to drop dead. A meteor isn't going to just wipe us out, and if it did... WHO EFFING CARES? You won't know. Nor will you lay there 218 miles under the original surface of the Earth, and think... "Wow. That meteor knocked the wind right out of me. Damn! I think I left my FB page open on a public computer." Now, why would anyone bother thinking about it? We thought the entire solar system was going to freeze up because our computers would shut off in the year 2000. Which was an unrealistic day back when computers were being created. Geez. Computers. They make things so difficult... by making everything easy. They make us dumb by making things easier, but only smart people understand them. I know I don't. I know how to do basic things. Like text to speech, and changing the left and the right button functions on a mouse... just to mess with your co-worker. Sorry about that, Libby. I forgot that I did that to her. Haha! I don't know how I forget things so easy. Maybe because I got a lot of randomness running around in my head. But either way, the year 2000 was one person thinking, "Ughhh, shit. I think I sent that email to everyone saying to pick the expiration date as 01/01/00." And what happens with expiration dates? You push it. That's what I do, so I know you do it too. When I see milk in the fridge that is a day expired. I smell it. WHY!? I have no freaking clue. I don't know what normal milk smells like, because I don't smell milk that's not close to expired. But, I smell the almost expired milk anyways. And every single time, I wonder if there is supposed to be a white coating on top, and if it's supposed to smell the way it does. So, rather than throw it out, I just pour it really slow and hope that I notice if a chunk comes out. Where was I? OHHH. Expiration dates. We push them, nobody watches the clocks strike midnight, and then immediately tosses everything out that just instantly turned bad. So, is it safe to say that you can go about 5-10 days past your expiration date on milk, or whatever? Idk. I just throw it away at the strike of midnight... just to be safe.

Now that I have divulged all my retarded thoughts to you at 3am. I think I'm starting to hallucinate. Like the room is blacking out and all I can see is my white screen. Actually, it scared me. So, I'm signing off... and am going to sleep with my lights on. Good night.